(re)introducing: comma symbol
We had an Encyclopedia set in the first house where I ever lived. A dedicated bookshelf in the basement with the red bindings in an alphabetical row, the letters guiding you to the topic of interest. I loved skimming through those books, reading any random blurb, running my fingers over the pictures. I have a clear memory of reading the names of anyone famous enough to make it into the publication and noting the last name comma first name. And I remember thinking, in the way I think a lot of kids do, or at least the variety of kid like me whose stand-in for a parent was a television set and basic cable package, that if I ever made it into one of these, I’d show up as Oberto, Toni, and that your brain would read the comma.
Now that I’ve abandoned any intention or interest in notoriety, the phrase comma symbol came back to me a few years ago in a different iteration. In that one, it was the name I was considering to encapsulate the work I had wanted to do as a death and grief doula. I loved it. It felt like home. I felt comfortable in its presence in a way that I often don’t when taking on names or labels. I’ve sat on it these past few years as I’ve been unearthing parts of myself, and it’s back with me now in its newest form. Today it encapsulates the work I want to do as a writer, an artist, a human, and yes, a grief doula.
As I unearthed all of these personal artifacts and started thinking about identity, morals, my past, while I was right in the muck of it, my hands in the batter, I thought about all the identities I have held, wanted to hold, and the way that I’ve felt held back or haven’t allowed myself to take on identities. For me, it’s bound up in my struggles of being seen as human, and having needs and feelings. There’s a lifetime of struggle in that binding. My attraction to the comma is that it gets to represent multiple things at once: a change, a departure, a pause, a break, a shift, a separator of parts in a series. This new project is inviting folks, myself included, who don’t always know how to take on identities, have complicated experiences with identities, or have complicated identities, to use the comma symbol as the pool we can swim around in. Language is important and powerful and serves a great purpose, but there are lots of times I haven't been able to find a singular word that describes what I feel or am, so the comma is my stand in.
